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Jokes and Disses

Your mom's so old she sat behind jesus in the 3rd grade.

How do u get a blond to drown? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a kiddie pool!!!

why did tigger stick his head down the loo? to find pooh :D

A blond a red head and a brunette were on the 1000 steps 2 hevan but on each step they had to tell a joke and if they laughed they went to hell. So the brunette laughed on step 498 the red head laughed on step 763 then on step 999 the blonde laughed. the angel at the top asked her y she laughed the blond then sed i just got the first joke!!:D

Your so stupid you went to a football game and thought a quarter-back was a refund!!

Why did the blonde get fired from the M & M's Factory? .... Because she threw away all the W's!!!

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red. they were stuck on a island and it was 20 miles to shore. The red head said I will go look for help I can swim the best..she swam 5 miles and drowned. next the brunette went and she swam 10 miles and drowned. then the blonde went, she swam 19 miles got tired so she swam back...

I remember calling your boyfriend gay all the time....that all ended when he hit me with his purse...

A guy walks into a store and asks the clerk "do you have any any grapes?" the clerk says "no" the guy walks out. He comes in the next day and asks the clerk"do you have any grapes?" the clerk says "no" the guy walks out. He comes in the next day and asks the clerk"do you have any grapes?" the clerk says "no" the guy walks out. The guy comes in the next day and walks up to the clerk and the clerk says "if u ask for grapes one more time im going to staple your mouth shut!!!" The guy walks out. The guy walks in the next day and asks the clerk " do you have any staples?" the clerk answers "no" guy says "got any grapes"....

A blonde and her boyfriend were about to watch a movie on their date. All of a sudden, the blonde pours out the M&M's and starts throwing the brown ones in the trashcan. The boyfriend asks why she is throwing out the brown ones and she says, "I'm allergic to chocolate."

ONE DAY THERE WAS A BLONDE AND THERE WAS ALSO A NEIGHBOR OUTSIDE WATERING THE PLANTS. ANYWAYS, THE BLONDE GOES OUTSIDE AND OPENS THE MAIL BOX AND CLOSES IT, THEN GOES BACK INSIDE. THEN 5 SEC LATER SHE COMES BAK OUTSIDE AND OPENS THE MAILBOX AGAIN, AND CLOSES IT AGAIN, THEN GOES BACK IN. THEN SHE COMES OUT ONE LAST TIME AND OPENS HER MAIL BOX AND CLOSES IT AT FORCE BECAUSE SHE IS MAD, THEN THE NEIGHBOR ASKS THE BLONDE " WAT R YU DOING" AND THE BLOND GOES MY COMPUTER SAYS I HAVE MAIL.

There was a woman in her bath naked, she heard a knock on the door so she says "hello who is it?" the person replies "its the blind man can i come in?" well the nun thought as hes blind i suppose he can come in coz he wont ba able 2 see anything! " ok then" the man comes in looks at her and says " um, hey where do u want the blinds?

Whats 6 inches long 2 inches wide and drives girls crazy? MONEY!!!!

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